How I Started This Time Part II

Week 3 came and I still was not making myself do any exercise of any kind. I am pretty sure patting myself on the back for a good job losing weight is not burning any significant calories. I was really not thinking about walking and was not feeling the least bit like I was missing anything at all. I toyed with the idea of getting on the LifeShaper sitting across from me up here in my office at home, but never actually made myself get on it. But when I got on the scales on Monday July 13th I had lost another 2 lbs Woo Hoo. I was really losing weight and not struggling with my food really.

Well, heading into week 4 I started to crave stuff and had some bad days. I had injured my thumb falling on some stairs back the first part of June and I was having problems with my whole hand swelling and pain. I had been going to the Dr about it for about 3 weeks already and had just now gotten a concrete diagnosis. Partially torn ligament in my thumb, luckily surgery was not needed and I got a very small brace that did not limit my mobility much. A nice change after the previous 2 braces I had been in. But I was feeling down about having to wear it indefinitely and at that point it was still keeping me up at night aching. I had 3 different types of pain medications and they all had their pros and cons. Anything with Codeine in it does not put me to sleep it totally wires me and keeps me wide awake, so while the pain might subside sleep is usually not an option. The other one took the edge off most of the but did really did not stop it. The 3rd one was an anti-inflammatory that I was to take for 60 days to reduce the swelling. Because of fatigue and wanting to reward myself for being so good, I started using all of my points on WW Online. I had a McDonald's Sundae 2 times that week and ate at McDonald's a total of 3 times. I did not go over my points allotment for the week but I used as many points as I had ever used. Still no exercise or increase in my physical activity to this point.

When it came time to weigh in on July 20th I only lost 1 lb but, hey it was still a loss. Well from that week my eating just became awful from a nutrition stand point and there was no balance in my diet at all. I was not eating more points than I was allowed but I was not eating all the foods I should be eating. I was having pretzels, crackers and butter and a Sundae all in one day. I did dip into my Flexible points that day. I was also increasing my visits to McDonald's as well and that really just has disaster written all over it. I was happy I was losing weight, but I knew in my heart I was not doing it correctly and I did not want to fail again.

I was having an internal conflict about what to do. I started really talking to people I knew who had lost weight and kept it off. Everyone had lost the weight a different way, but they had all exercised, regularly and vigorously. I was trying to wrap my mind around making myself exercise and regularly at that. Not just once every week or so, but like every day, I mean 6 days a week, 52 weeks a year it was unfathomable to me that I could make myself do it. I really could not see myself actually walking for 6 days in a row.

I started looking at those exercise regimens that promise to make you fit and skinny on only 10 minutes of exercise 3 or 4 times a week. Now that was my kind of program, not too much time, not a big commitment on my part. It had EASY BUTTON written all over it. I so wanted an EASY BUTTON, you know like in the Staples advertisements. I did not want losing weight to be hard, I was a sissy. I was so trying to fool myself into believing that it could be really easy and painless. You know because everything in life you get that is worth anything or means anything is easy and painless....NOT. Everything in life you get that means anything is hard work and I knew it, but I did not want to admit it to myself. I could not face reality. I was delusional and only fooling myself.

Too be continued...

Until next time Keep Fit.

pam