The 2nd Day After

Friday July 31st, I was not any more sore at this point than I was on Thursday. I believed I could do this resistance training stuff. And I alternated between really psyched to get to train on Monday with Marianne and scared. Now I am sure you might wonder, why in the world I would be scared. Well for starters what if I could not do this. What if I was just not able to do it. What if she realized I was a fitness pretender and did not belong in the world of the fit. And what about when I actually went and there were other fit people what would they think of this obviously unfit person entering their world.

I needed to stop thinking so much. This is not Junior High School where we say things to others and don't realize their consequences and how they affect others. I mean I still get sick at my stomach thinking about 7th and 8th grade Gym Class and how mean some of the girls were to me. I am sure they never knew how much some of their comments hurt. And I know I should get over it all these years later, but you know there is this part of me that still believes they were right. I think as women we internalize so much of the stuff that happens to us and gets said to us, where as guys just let it roll off of their backs.

Also as I have said before people who are fit want every one to be fit. Because they know how important it is in the overall scheme of living. It affects every single aspect of your being. I am learning and continue to learn that no one is harder on me than me. And I think we are all like that, it is part of the baggage that comes along with being Female. And I am continually amazed at how other people see me as compared to how I see myself. I am thinking, gosh who is this great person you are describing, because that is not me and not how I feel about me. As women we need to take time to celebrate our strengths and assets instead of focusing on our perceived weaknesses and shortcomings. I have found that keeping a gratitude journal helps me focus on the positive instead of dwelling on the negative.

So anyway I was having out of town company for the weekend. I was really looking forward to Auburn Ann coming for a visit. I love her dearly and even though I have not known her a long time we have shared some wonderful times and some hard times together. In fact we call our guest room Ann's Room because she has first dibs on it. I was so excited to see her as I had not seen her in 4 months. When I got home she was waiting for me. As soon as we unloaded her car we were off to Sam's for some food.

I had saved all of my WW Flex points for this weekend. I was not going over on my points but I was using them all up. We got chicken salad, cheese, crackers, salad and stuff to make quiche. We got home and had an early supper of chicken salad, cheese and crackers. And I used a lot of points. I was still drinking quite a bit of diet soft drinks as well and had not really wanted to up my consumption of water after all I was still losing weight.

Ann was excited to see my progress and she could tell how much weight I had lost. That is always an ego boost when people tell you they can see you have lost weight. I told her all about working about with Marianne and how excited I was to try this. And that I thought between the WW Online with my eating and getting some exercise I was going to really be able to lose the 100 lbs.

I told her I thought I was going to be able to do this resistance training and 15 minutes of Cardio. And who knows it might make me want to walk occasionally on my own. Also that I wanted to get back into playing tennis again I really missed the competitiveness of it. And doing something athletic. Ann was the Tennis Coach at the High School for several years so she knew where I was coming from. I think she might have said 3 times a week is a lot and a big commitment. I said well it is only 30 minute sessions. (Again, a person who knows about being fit is expressing concern about this, you would think I would have possibly caught on. But no.)

I told her I was sure it was doable as the first night was not bad at all. And I got to do the bike, I did not have to do the treadmill or the stair machine. And that they did not have all of that fancy equipment like I have seen through the windows at some of the gyms I have passed by.

Good thing attitude counts. Cause I might not have had a clue but I had a good attitude. Plus I needed to believe that somehow this time was going to be different than the last several times I have lost the weight only to put it back on.

Until next time Keep Fit.

pam